What kind of writer am I?

I’m going to piggy back this week from my Toronto Romance Writers’ Group. Our discussion this week: “What Kind of Writer Are You?”
In the book “Time to Write” by Kelly L. Stone, the author lists 7 different writing schedules or categories that successful authors’ writing habits tend to fall into. The titles are Stone’s but the explanations have been changed/shortened.

1. EARLY MORNING WRITER – you get up a number of hours before the family wakes up or before you have to go to work (your day job).
2. THE AFTER HOURS WRITER – you work best after sunset or when the family is asleep.
3. OFFICE WORKER [or Workplace Worker]- You arrive at the office (or wherever your day job is) before your shift starts, to write. You write again during your regular breaks (like lunchtime). You stay an hour or two longer at the office/factory to write.
4. THE BLITZ WRITER – You write longer in one sitting but less frequently.
5. THE MINIBLOCKS-OF-TIME WRITER – You write a minimum of one sentence a day. Your writing time can be as low as several minutes. It can be as high as 30 minutes to an hour.
6. THE COMMUTING WRITER – You write while commuting on the “GO Train”, bus, subway, etc.
7. THE ANY-OPPORTUNITY OR COMBO WRITER – You write as soon as there is a spare moment so it can be a combination of the above schedules.

So What am I?

I guess I fall into the Any-Opportunity and Blitz Writer categories. Oh, I wish I could actually dedicate 30 minutes a day or a couple of hours a week, but life doesn’t work that way in this house. (That is also my excuse for not getting to the gym, too, and what makes that worse is that my husband and I own three Snap Fitness gyms!)

Our Daughters are with our respective “exes” every other weekend, and I try to schedule a few hours every other Sunday to get some writing in, but there is always so much to do and if I get 3 hours in every 2 weeks, I consider that a win. Once The Daughter goes away to university (2.5 years away) then I’ll be going crazy trying to fill up the 8 – 18 hours a week I currently spend at gyms watching volleyball. Of course, with the pile of unread print books on my shelves, 100s of e-books on my kindle, and dozens of unfinished crafts in the closet, I probably still won’t find as much time as I want for writing or getting to the gym. But one can always dream!

Miss Snark…She is just too funny

Hi all, for this week’s blog I am borrowing (with permission) from another blogger. ..Miss Snark.
I look forward, with anticipation, to Miss Snark’s posts popping up in my in-basket because she makes me laugh, and sometimes even cry out loud “yes, yes, I’m not alone”. What is so funny is that she talks about everyday life, often focused around her husband & children. Below is her blog from today, but Friday was just as funny, so visit her at http://melissasnark.blogspot.com and consider signing up for her blog.

And now, from Miss Snark:
After Marriage Arthritis

Mrs. Snark: “Dear, I have washed and folded a basket of laundry. Please put it away when you have a chance.”
Mr. Snark: “I’ll get right on that.”

Three weeks later:

Mrs. Snark: “Mr. John LazyBones Snark! It’s been three weeks and you still haven’t put away that basket of laundry! I’ve added fresh clean laundry to it every day since I first asked. Now it is stacked to the ceiling and teetering at a crazy angle!”
Mr. Snark: “I’ll get right on that.”

Does this exchange sound familiar? What many newlywed wives are just realizing, and old married ladies have known for years, is that this male behavior is indicative of a much greater ailment.
What is After Marriage Arthritis?
After Marriage Arthritis (AMA) is defined as a man’s inability to perform a task–simple or complex–that his wife has requested be completed. While most often associated with married adult men, a similar strain of this condition has been known to affect bachelors and young males. During the courtship period, the man may hide or disguise his condition from his sweetheart by being extra helpful. The term “lazy” was once loosely used to imply the same disorder.
How common is it?
After Marriage Arthritis is extremely common. According to the Maryland Institute of Male Behavioral Studies, AMA is the most common ailment known to afflict married men. Comprehensive clinical trials designed to measure male noncompliance to female requests have revealed that AMA affects vast segments of the population. In fact, an estimated 99% of married men suffer from some degree of After Marriage Arthritis (classified as mild, moderate or severe).
What is mild vs. severe?
The mild AMA dysfunction typically occurs when a man is able to follow simple instructions, which results in the assigned task achieving some measurable degree of completeness. Severe dysfunction is where a husband cannot accomplish a task at all. The actual severity of the condition may be considered a subjective problem. Some wives may be willing to accept a lower level of compliance than others.
After Marriage Arthritis Causes: Psychological/Physical
Psychological factors account for about 99.99% of AMA problems and often result from lethargy, laziness or simple unwillingness. These factors may result in sinks full of unwashed dishes and a variety of household chores going unperformed.
Adverse Effects on Daily Life
A woman with a man affected by AMA may experience feelings of frustration and anger. Meanwhile, the man affected may experience secret feelings of smugness and accomplishment for having accomplished nothing. Personal relationships can be adversely affected if it is left untreated.
Importance of Proactively Treating After Marriage Arthritis
Unfortunately, there is no known cure for AMA at this time. Sometimes, nagging has been observed to act as a remedy. Other times, the suspension of coitus privileges has been demonstrated to temporarily alleviate the symptoms of AMA. A motivated penis makes for a more motivated husband.

(End of Miss Snark’s blog)

I would like to add that after months of trying to get The Husband to put away his laundry, I simply bought another laundry basket which I put in the bottom of his closet. After laundry is done, I drop his clean folded clothes into the basket. Sometimes there will be 3 or 4 weeks of clean clothing tumbling out of the basket, but at least I don’t have to look at it every day.

I will always be her little girl

So I mentioned last time that I gave the galley copy of Silver Blade to my husband to help me look for errors, well I also gave it to my mom. Now it’s not polite to ask a woman her age and I don’t really want to tell it either, but lets just say that I’m in my 40s and my mom is in her 60s. No one would ever describe my mother as shy, quiet or easily embarrassed, so I have to say I was a little surprised at today’s conversation. (No mom, this wasn’t the exact wording, but close enough.)

“So I read parts of your book,” she said.

“Parts? Why didn’t you read the whole thing?”


“Well, what?”

“I couldn’t read the sex stuff. I started to but then I just couldn’t.”

I could actually hear the embarrassment in my mom’s voice coming through the phone line.

“I kept wondering how you knew some of that stuff.”

OMG MOM!! My book is not erotica; my book didn’t even make it to the HOT rating. My book made it to the SPICY rating which is “at least one full sex scene with description of foreplay, intercourse and climax”

Add to this that I’m in my forties, been married twice, read lots of books (of all ratings), and have seen my share of explicit movies. I wanted to laugh. In fact, I think I did. Then she threw the line out that many mothers use: “Well what if your daughter…”

I thought back to the Toronto Romance Writers’ meeting the other weekend where we sat in a circle discussing different words for penis. It was a small (no pun intended) meeting due to the snow storm, and I think a third of the writers there wrote erotica.

What would my mom do if I wrote erotica?
What would she do if I wrote murder mysteries?
And what about Stephen King’s mother? The poor woman.